1. You have to fined somone to snugle with.
2. Get the scwooshiest bed.
3. Get as close as you posubly can.
Yous this power for good. You can never forget this.
By Stella Eve Shulman Templin
If the shoe fits…
Upon returning home from school today, the girls were arguing about something. I was only paying partial attention until I heard this:
Stella: I’m not a bad person. I’m open-minded.
Lila: “Open-minded” is just a nice way of saying gullible.
I have mentioned before, I think, Lila’s voracious reading appetite. She will read. And read. And read. I keep shuffling through the young adult shelves at the library, picking out the titles I remember loving, forcing them upon Lila. She, like myself at her age, loves that ole Judy Blume.
Did you know that Judy Blume kept writing books after some of us outgrew her target demographic? I know, crazy. But she did. One of the books is called Just As Long As We’re Together, and according to the blurb I read, it’s about how hard friendship can be for girls in the middle-school years — something I remember all too well. Lila wanted to read it, and I figured this was the kind of Judy Blume that I’d like her to be reading right now. As opposed to, say, Tiger Eyes or Forever…. (Yes, the ellipsis is part of the title, annoyingly.)
So anyway. Lila’s reading along happily. As is her way, when she comes across a word she’s not 100 percent sure about, she shouts out to me.
Lila: What’s c-o-m-f-o-r-t-e-r?
Me: Comforter?
Lila: Yeah. What is that?
Me: A comforter? It’s a big fluffy blanket. You have one on your bed!
Lila: Oh! Ha ha. I know. I didn’t know you called it that.
Me: Well, that’s what it’s called.
[Silence]
Lila: What’s a throw pillow?
Me: [suppressing urge to roll my eyes] A throw pillow?
Lila: Yeah. What’s that?
Me: It’s, um, it’s a decorative pillow. Like the kind you put on a couch, as opposed to the kind you sleep on. You know?
Lila: Oh. Okay.
[Silence]
Lila: Mommy?
Me: Yes?
Lila: What’s s-e-x-u-a-l-l-y?
Lila began talking more about Tracy Turnblatt today in the car.
Me: Turnblatt?
Lila: Turnblatt.
Me: Huh, I guess she’s supposed to be Jewish.
Lila: Really?
Me: Well, it’s a Jewish name.
Lila: She doesn’t act Jewish.
[pause]
Lila: But her mom kind of does.
at aaron & brian’s holiday party last night, after talking with teddy about howaboutwe/writing/writers/etc for about 10 minutes, I turn to his friend who’s been listening politely the whole time:
me: So. Are…you a writer too?
him: No, I’m a doctor.
me: Oh, what’s your specialty?
him: I’m a…
The other night Lila and Stella broke into sixties-style dancing in our kitchen. You know what I mean — swinging their arms up and down, shimmying their tiny little booties, shaking their heads side-to-side.
“They dance like this in Hairspray!” Lila shouted, grooving away. Yes — I let the girls watch Hairspray about a month ago. Perhaps somewhat against my better judgment.
“Yeah!” Stella exclaimed. “This move is called the Gravy & Mashed Potatoes!”
“Don’t you just love Tracy?” Lila said, shifting from the Gravy & Mashed Potatoes to The Swim. Tracy is the main character in Hairspray.
“Yes!” Stella shouted happily. “She’s a whore!”
At which point I fell to the ground and died.
Stella’s birthday card to her daddy (Chris, aka Cheris, apparently):
Happy (hie hie hie) Breth (low low low) day cheris cheris cheris happy berth! Love Stella. p.s. You are lucky cheris.
Lila is working on thank-you note text.
Thank you for coming
My thanking is true
And of course you are knowing
That I’m thanking you
***
I’d like to thank you
For you did come
I’m glad that you came
I’m sad that it’s done
***
To you I thank
I thank to you
For coming to my party
And to yours I will come, too
Trick-or-treating in downtown Noho.
